Hail Humans & Subgeniuses. I am the Reverend John Shirley, Grand High Inquisitor, for many years, in the Church of the Subgenius. When the saucers come, I will be subjecting each of you to an admittance inquisition to see if you are true Yeti-blood and, once that is done, to see if you are more than 100 per cent devout enough. I use an admittedly cruel interrogation device--which induces orgasms through means of a ray emanated directly into your brain. It will stop unless you speak truth.

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