What's Dobbs.town you say?

Well, it's only the best Subgenius hangout this side of Sirius.

What's a $ubgenius you say?

Just ask us! ...or go to www.subgenius.com :jrbd:

Under the spreading chestnut tree,

I sold you and you sold me:

There lie they, and here lie we.

Under the spreading chestnut tree.

Gotta keep your priorities straight in a world gone mad:

In 2085, armored warfare is faster and deadlier than ever. Hovercraft, tanks, and infantry slug it out with tactical nukes. But the most feared weapon of all needs no human guidance. It's a giant cybernetic tank bristling with guns and missiles. It's the Ogre.


Wait wait wait.... You mean I have to "work" in various "jobs" my whole life? Who the fuck decided this was a good idea. Something needs to be done about this. It's an intolerable and grossly unjust state of affairs. I demand a utopian society immediately! Somebody, anybody, fix it! Help! Fuck!

I somehow don't think so.

"Coelacanth flesh is full of urea, which is a nitrogen-based compound that your kidneys cleanse from your blood and you then excrete in your pee. So it’s kind of like eating greasy urine-flesh. But it’s also full of wax esters, which are molecules of indigestible junk that your body will probably discharge in a flood of unstoppable oily diarrhea."

Why do the Xists keep not showing up on X-Day? THEY'RE AFRAID OF HERBIE

Perhaps you don't know of the wonder that is Herbie Popnecker. Perhaps you have been decieved by Spiderist cult propaganda. There is no Herbie but Herbie, and Ogden Whitney was his prophet. Praise be Popnecker! OR HE'LL BOP YOU WITH THIS HERE LOLLIPOP

Some say the yarn the Church of the Subgenius tells is the only thread that keeps poor old "Bob" together.

Sometimes you have to tell a lie so people can know the truth. :jrbd:

On this day in 1944. Young men died in the name of freedom they would never know.

Today in 2019. Their children are excited about someone, with the same motivations as Hitler, getting doused in cold dairy confections.

Do we admit we lost?

GawDAMN, just received a offer to apply for a job I don't even qualify for, but the salary:

"Salary: $100,000 - $30,000 per hour"

*imagines all the SubG stuff I could buy with that*

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Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.