Be aware that Gods were made in our image, and represent the worst of us; Especially what we hide from ourselves. They will forever be the enemy of progress and must be overcome in love and understanding... For it is their domain to hate and fear, and they cannot be challenged in their own arena. These constructs, which ultimately are us, can only be defeated through self-love and a desire to give such peace to all. Slack is the key to freedom. Free thyself.
I am the left nostril of "Bob". I am a "Bob"damned Reverend, and you will show me the respect I paid for! I will marry you to a potted plant, I will excommunicate you from outer Mongolia, or worse, I will curse all your steaks to burn.
I aim to cast out all false profits, and no false slack will be good enough to cover the shame in your faces as you work yourselves to death for my mere amusement!! BEWARE!!!
Now say it with me: I'm mad too "Bob"!
You overmen learn this from me: In the market place, nobody believes in overmen.
If you want to speak there, very well! But the mob blinks: "We are all equal. There are no overmen, man is man; Before God we are all equal."
Before God!? But now this God has died, and before the mob, we do not want to be equal. You overmen, go away from the market place!
Remember... If you are confused, you are only one step away from enlightenment.
Should you encounter a SubGenius in the wild... The most important thing to remember is to never break eye contact. They see this as a sign of weakness and can attack even when unprovoked. For your own safety and well-being, send $35 to The SubGenius Foundation so you may receive remote psychosurgery to open your third nostril. The effluvium released from this minor operation will allow you to whiff-pstench out your own kind and no longer will you be in any danger from that moment on. Why wait!?
Have you felt your whole life that maybe something is terribly wrong with you?
There is... But that doesn't mean you can't be among friends. Everyone wants to feel normal
and welcome. You can be! All functional mutants, Yeti descendant, frop smokers, and all manner of malcontents are welcome at the Church of the Subgenius, as long as your money's green.
"Bob"'s voodoo is working
Uncontrolled Thinking, controlled by "Bob," will usher in a SPIRITUAL REBIRTH and a CASCADE of ASTOUNDING RICHES AND POWER to those "in the know" -- while billions of deserving Conspiracy dupes FRY in HELL ON EARTH!
MORE COMPLICATED THAN THE QABALLAH! MORE AMBIGUOUS THAN THE I CHING! SCARIER THAN THE OLD TESTAMENT! MORE MONSTERS THAN THE BHAGAVAD-GITA! MORE HATE AND INTOLERANCE THAN THE INTERNET! AND MORE SHEER BULLSHIT THAN THE BOOK OF MORMON!
THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS
Who is this Bob they speak of?
Why don't employees discuss their problems and frustrations to their management?
You cannot expect to come to resolutions with a malaria epidemic by having a discussion with the mosquitoes.
The little nodding blood suckers can't help themselves but create authoritarian power structures which demand everyone to align their perspectives to what the one at the top wants to see...
Just bought a 5TB Seagate Backup Plus drive from Costco. Get it home... And it's basically DOA. Can't transfer anything to it without it jumping over 90MB/s and then stalling out for 30 seconds at a time, freezing the transfer window for every file.
Wow, just wow. I'll stick with Western Digital, and take this POS back to Costco. At least I know I won't have to deal with asshats being paid to pretend their product isn't shit.
Now I wanna make movies
Hey, everyone! Be sure to listen to @negative album, Welcome to Dobbs.Town. You will hear me featured on track #3.
"The reason we don't have [good thing] is nobody thought of it before, or tried it, or tried it just right. Otherwise we'd have [good thing]."
This is usually better explained as 'I just learned about something' or 'I have an idea and other people should make it happen' or 'wishes and prayer works' or 'things have to happen in a certain way just because we want or need them.'
EXCEPT the Church of the SubGenius.
We do not talk about Shit club.
Last surviving member of The FisTemple of "Bob" Yetisyn congregation of the Northern Provinces, Dobbstown East.
Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.