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Be aware that Gods were made in our image, and represent the worst of us; Especially what we hide from ourselves. They will forever be the enemy of progress and must be overcome in love and understanding... For it is their domain to hate and fear, and they cannot be challenged in their own arena. These constructs, which ultimately are us, can only be defeated through self-love and a desire to give such peace to all. Slack is the key to freedom. Free thyself. :jrbd:

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I am the left nostril of "Bob". I am a "Bob"damned Reverend, and you will show me the respect I paid for! I will marry you to a potted plant, I will excommunicate you from outer Mongolia, or worse, I will curse all your steaks to burn.

I aim to cast out all false profits, and no false slack will be good enough to cover the shame in your faces as you work yourselves to death for my mere amusement!! BEWARE!!!

Now say it with me: I'm mad too "Bob"!

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You overmen learn this from me: In the market place, nobody believes in overmen.

If you want to speak there, very well! But the mob blinks: "We are all equal. There are no overmen, man is man; Before God we are all equal."

Before God!? But now this God has died, and before the mob, we do not want to be equal. You overmen, go away from the market place!

Remember... If you are confused, you are only one step away from enlightenment.

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Should you encounter a SubGenius in the wild... The most important thing to remember is to never break eye contact. They see this as a sign of weakness and can attack even when unprovoked. For your own safety and well-being, send $35 to The SubGenius Foundation so you may receive remote psychosurgery to open your third nostril. The effluvium released from this minor operation will allow you to whiff-pstench out your own kind and no longer will you be in any danger from that moment on. Why wait!?

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Have you felt your whole life that maybe something is terribly wrong with you?

There is... But that doesn't mean you can't be among friends. Everyone wants to feel normal
and welcome. You can be! All functional mutants, Yeti descendant, frop smokers, and all manner of malcontents are welcome at the Church of the Subgenius, as long as your money's green.

The most destructive elements of control and power are also the most seductive ones. The creation of a new reality construct and enforcing it upon others is the root cause of all self-sabotage in the world.

All at once, this construct only serves to make us feel comfortable in a delusion of control, while it only blinds us to the reality of the situation and causes others to do the same as they adopt this ideology simply because it was used on them and they want a taste of that delusion.

You Won't Believe This Surprising Way To Train Your Capybara To Paint Watercolors

I think I'm afraid of simply driving everyone away, I think I'm just an asshole, and when I feel that way, I find ways to think I must be worthless, I must not be good enough for anyone. What other reason is there? Well, it's obvious isn't it? Life doesn't need a reason, it's only my interpretation that makes it appear cold and uncaring, for it would have to care in the first place to be true. No... Some of the things I think are true, but most is nonsense.

I am my own conspiracy.

Can someone explain to me like I'm an idiot why I have so many things I want to say to people to the point that I have nightmares every night about saying what I want to say to people, only when I'm awake I feel like I never can... I think it's part of my childhood, I was isolated, alone... Sometimes there were people, but no one permanent. I don't really ever have anyone, just... Fadings ghosts.

I don't want to live on this planet where nothing makes sense.

I'm so gassy today. Probably from eating the hell out of two double blue cheese bacon burgers on Monday. *Drool*

Let me ask you, how does one eat the hell out of THIS cheeseburger? HUH?!

Welcome to Asshole Apprenticeship. (A.A.)

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DOBBS.TOWN

Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.