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Be aware that Gods were made in our image, and represent the worst of us; Especially what we hide from ourselves. They will forever be the enemy of progress and must be overcome in love and understanding... For it is their domain to hate and fear, and they cannot be challenged in their own arena. These constructs, which ultimately are us, can only be defeated through self-love and a desire to give such peace to all. Slack is the key to freedom. Free thyself. :jrbd:

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I am the left nostril of "Bob". I am a "Bob"damned Reverend, and you will show me the respect I paid for! I will marry you to a potted plant, I will excommunicate you from outer Mongolia, or worse, I will curse all your steaks to burn.

I aim to cast out all false profits, and no false slack will be good enough to cover the shame in your faces as you work yourselves to death for my mere amusement!! BEWARE!!!

Now say it with me: I'm mad too "Bob"!

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You overmen learn this from me: In the market place, nobody believes in overmen.

If you want to speak there, very well! But the mob blinks: "We are all equal. There are no overmen, man is man; Before God we are all equal."

Before God!? But now this God has died, and before the mob, we do not want to be equal. You overmen, go away from the market place!

Remember... If you are confused, you are only one step away from enlightenment.

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Should you encounter a SubGenius in the wild... The most important thing to remember is to never break eye contact. They see this as a sign of weakness and can attack even when unprovoked. For your own safety and well-being, send $35 to The SubGenius Foundation so you may receive remote psychosurgery to open your third nostril. The effluvium released from this minor operation will allow you to whiff-pstench out your own kind and no longer will you be in any danger from that moment on. Why wait!?

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Have you felt your whole life that maybe something is terribly wrong with you?

There is... But that doesn't mean you can't be among friends. Everyone wants to feel normal
and welcome. You can be! All functional mutants, Yeti descendant, frop smokers, and all manner of malcontents are welcome at the Church of the Subgenius, as long as your money's green.

yes, so I shall be as I am ye wretched slaves, go forth and writhe in your own brand of milquetoast discomfort and leave me alone

We are approaching levels of autism that shouldn't even be technically possible.

Think of it, when they make the guns foolproof, the only ones with guns will be the fools. You might want to keep a Subgenius around, should the shit hit the fan.

We're the ones who'll walk right out of the prisons they try to put us in, as the locks fail, and the bullets jam in their guns. Their Con's whole plan exploding in their face.

This is only possible through maximum overslack, now is the time. The world is at a critical tipping point and now is where you fight for the future. :jrbd:

Anyone who's ever had to sit and listen to someone syllogize their mental disorders, knows how backwards our collective perception can be.

We all arm ourselves with bits of bulldada that best suits our desired delusion, but none of us see how transparent this is to everyone else but ourselves. Yet, still we judge others.

You see? Each of us is looking at each other and thinking no one could possibly understand this. Not true, this is easy to understand. What you take away however, is unique.

I wish I lived in that one dimension...

That one where Google actually did no evil.

That one where companies acted in good faith on behalf of their customers.

That one that didn't see the Patriot act come to pass and turn every company into a state asset to be tapped, gagged, forced to lie, and steal, in the interest of "security".

I wish I lived in that one dimension where hope didn't die, and the words of freedom don't choke in our mouths.

Let us all make an agreement to step 20 years into the future, mentally. Let us all regard the current corporate culture of technological fiscal irresponsibility as the sickening singular defining trait of our species. In the search for limitless profit, we have taken the path toward the brightest future of human destiny and detoured right over the jagged cliffs of inadequate ambition.

We must wrestle with these ideas until fruition. We must not allow the future to be stolen by hungry ghosts.

Does anyone have a really good recipe for Russian potato salad from Germany? Or German potato salad from Russia?

Does anyone know what the lethal dose of frop for a normal pink boy con is? Asking for a friend.

I finally got a powered USB hub, praise "Bob".

The Amazon fulfillment delivery agent checked it off as delivered yesterday in front of a door I've never seen before.

I called and got a refund. A little peeved.

Today the package arrived anyhow, AND I'm getting refunded the cost.

How utterly slackful. :jrbd:

NEW! :jrbd: Hour of Slack #1735 - The Howll N' Dave Show :jrbd:

Recorded June 30 at WCSB-Cleveland, just before leaving town for 22X-Day (now known as the 24th X-Day Drill), with Dr. Hal joining Ivan Stang and Princess Wei in the studio and Lonesome Cowboy Dave by phone. The show starts with ten minutes of an amazing A…

Be like Zen Cat.

Clear your third nostril and whiff pstench the way to the luck plane.

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Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.