Pinned toot

Be aware that Gods were made in our image, and represent the worst of us; Especially what we hide from ourselves. They will forever be the enemy of progress and must be overcome in love and understanding... For it is their domain to hate and fear, and they cannot be challenged in their own arena. These constructs, which ultimately are us, can only be defeated through self-love and a desire to give such peace to all. Slack is the key to freedom. Free thyself. :jrbd:

Pinned toot

I am the left nostril of "Bob". I am a "Bob"damned Reverend, and you will show me the respect I paid for! I will marry you to a potted plant, I will excommunicate you from outer Mongolia, or worse, I will curse all your steaks to burn.

I aim to cast out all false profits, and no false slack will be good enough to cover the shame in your faces as you work yourselves to death for my mere amusement!! BEWARE!!!

Now say it with me: I'm mad too "Bob"!

Pinned toot

You overmen learn this from me: In the market place, nobody believes in overmen.

If you want to speak there, very well! But the mob blinks: "We are all equal. There are no overmen, man is man; Before God we are all equal."

Before God!? But now this God has died, and before the mob, we do not want to be equal. You overmen, go away from the market place!

Remember... If you are confused, you are only one step away from enlightenment.

Pinned toot

Should you encounter a SubGenius in the wild... The most important thing to remember is to never break eye contact. They see this as a sign of weakness and can attack even when unprovoked. For your own safety and well-being, send $35 to The SubGenius Foundation so you may receive remote psychosurgery to open your third nostril. The effluvium released from this minor operation will allow you to whiff-pstench out your own kind and no longer will you be in any danger from that moment on. Why wait!?

Pinned toot

Have you felt your whole life that maybe something is terribly wrong with you?

There is... But that doesn't mean you can't be among friends. Everyone wants to feel normal
and welcome. You can be! All functional mutants, Yeti descendant, frop smokers, and all manner of malcontents are welcome at the Church of the Subgenius, as long as your money's green.

Rev. Rawther Whisquarz of the Church of the SubGenius has slack.

Do you?

The most unlikely thing in the world Is finding inspiration without seeking it out.

Whole religions spring out of the desire for someone else to find inspiration for us.

"Bob" will let you wait for him speak to you and you alone, for a mere $35. What's the worst that could happen?

Rallying on the conspiracy is so passé these days. What's cool is pretending that nothing affects you and nothing surprises you because you've literally been dealing with this your entire life. When has pointing out inequalities of reason ever worked out when the people in question are far less willing to embrace reality than we are.

If all spiders worked together, they could probably eat every last human in about a year.


i think people should be forced to pass a two year university-level course in child rearing. religious fuckers who think children should memorize bible verses in exchange for food get an automatic fail, as well as being spayed.

Do you think it tyrannical of me that I feel like it would be a good idea to force people to take some kind of empathy testing before people can have kids? I'd like some people to have their licenses revoked.

I'm glad my balls haven't ballooned up to the size of artichokes again. That was horrible. Thanks "Bob".

Maybe the Book of the SubGenius is right about Jesus being a space alien. Jesus said in John 8:23 “You are from below, i am from above; you are of this world, I am not of this world." Learn more about this incredible Book of the SubGenius at:

I don't want to be hated, but I do want to know right away if you're going to hate me, as to not waste our time.

NEW! :jrbd: Hour of Slack #1773 - The Cruise Ship X-Day :jrbd:

((Cut Dave's diarrhea and Memory Pants. )) Vet sign: "Wash Your Paws." Dave turns it into Scrub Your Parents Down. Talking about X-Day with various SubGeniuses... X-Day will be in two weeks on a CRUISE SHIP. Suddenly other old people started wearing masks.…

Show more

Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.