Isn't it amazing how nature 3D prints a tomato from just a seed and some raw materials!

Has anyone else noticed that the Church of the Subgenius has so totally dominated our enemies that none dare take an open stand against us?

:pp01:

The Church of the SubGenius

A PLACE FOR EVERYONE, GIVING LIFE MEANING AND PURPOSE.

PERFECT FREEDOM UNDER THE TYRANNY OF J. R. "BOB" DOBBS.

:jrbd: subgenius.com

Being friends with or enemies with a particular fellow SubGenius, or having a particular SubGenius be friends with you or enemies with you... none of these are the wrong way to be a SubGenius.

The ONLY wrong way to be a SubGenius is to never send your membership fee to JOIN...

The Church of the SubGenius

:jrbd: subgenius.com/scatalog/members

What does it mean to BE a SubGenius?

"You make up the most insane joke you can possibly come up with based on events around you. Then tomorrow you look in the paper and find out you weren't joking." - Joe Cosby

"In my case, its meant a 22-year-long scream that sounds suspiciously like hysterical laughter when I draw breath for another bit of the YetiHoot That Will Not Die." - Hellpope Huey

:jrbd: subgenius.com/bigfist/FIST2004

Pascal's Wager for SubGenius is just a single box saying "YES, YOU'RE INSANE...LY CLUED IN! SEND $35 TO THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS!"

Today I went and bought a watermelon, a lemon, a lime. I cut them up and put them in a blender with ice. While I drink the resulting concoction; I find it hard to believe the people who tell me I'm not already sitting on my pleasure saucer.

You too can get your ticket to your own pleasure saucer.

Find out more at subgenius.com/scatalog/members

:jrbd:

It's not so much that other religions tell lies. It's that they lie so poorly - mean-spirited ghost stories of guilt and vengeance.

The Church of the SubGenius tells the BEST lies! FANTASTICAL spirited UFO stories of pride and vengeance!

:jrbd: subgenius.com

Capitalism, where it has been tried, has created inequality. Socialism, where it has been tried, has also created inequality. The difference between the two is that Socialism has only created great inequality, wheres Capitalism has also created tremendous wealth which brought quite literally BILLIONS out of poverty.

I'd rather help a subgenius I hate than a pink I tolerate.

:pp01:

"My time spent correcting the professed beliefs of strangers online was the happiest, most productive period of my life" said the imaginary person just before passing away in peace and perfect contentment.

"We are so proud to have known you, OpinionCorrector_996" the family agreed.

Oh, Jehovah-1! Guard us from Nhee Ghee which manipulates world leaders as mere DROOLING TOOLS, and stands between you and the Prairie Squid! Yes, and his newest ShorDurPerSav! It is the fetid apocalypse WOTAN warns us about! It is corrupt, it corrupts all it TOUCHES! The Normals cannot understand the REALITY of Cthulhu which SLAVERS at the doors of sanity, it LUSTS for your tender SOULS! And that evil lust is evil! Evil! EVIL! Are you WITH me?

If you join the Church of the Subgenius today you can rest easy your whole life knowing you've already achieved one of the most important things you can ever do.

Learn more at subgenius.com

:jrbd:

Friend, Thee Worlde Endeth On The Morrow and Ye May Die! Be Enjoined Unto...

Thee Church Of Thee Sub-Genius

:jrbd: subgenius.com

I exist at all because some number of ancestors over the centuries were kind, and some number of ancestors over the centuries were other than kind. Both, in their full measure.

But don't be tricked! This is no argument for "good" and "evil" being merely opinions instead of facts.

It is a FACT that it is an INHERENT MORAL GOOD to JOIN...

The Church of the SubGenius

:jrbd: subgenius.com

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Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.