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$40 plus tax for impotent hemp plant sticks and seeds, that's what is called False Slack

I retired immediately after suffering through my first job. Don't involve me in your filthy habit of work. “Connie“ Dobbs provides everything I need, and that's enough.

getting paid again for doing jack... praise "Bob" Dobbs

Liverpoor? Sot a bit of it! His braynes coolt parritch, his pelt nassy, his heart’s adrone, his bluidstreams acrawl, his puff but a piff, his extremeties extremely so: Fengless, Pawmbroke, Chil-blaimend and Baldowl. Humph is in his doge. Words weigh no no more to him than raindrips to Rethfernhim. Which we all like. Rain. When we sleep. Drops. But wait until our sleeping. Drain. Sdops.

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Silence was in thy faustive halls, O Truiga, when thy green woods went dry but there will be sounds of manymirth on the night’s ear ringing when our pantriarch of Comestowntonobble gets the pullover on his boots.

data for sale:
my secret, evil plot = $95 (Lowest I'll go is $40)
metadata about my searches = $38
my phone number = $15
my height & weight combo package = $6
the name of my favorite CD = $4
the novel I'm writing = $3.50 beta access

Do you honestly think J. R. "Bob" Dobbs The High Epopt of the Mighty Church of the Subgenius gives a fuck about whether or not you're awake? If you want to find out the answer real fast, send him a donation of $35 or more.


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Every other church you go to makes you stay awake all the time, or get up in the morning and do stuff. They stress Calvinist work ethic, tell you to get a 9-5 job to give to the church & repeat "God Brand" advertising slogans, then are down on dreaming and soul flight.

The waking state is produced by beta waves in the brain, which takes all of 10% total capacity to make up. Whereas dreams and deep sleep uses 90% of the brain's activity. So which state is "real" "reality"?

Meteor crash testing available

There is a very small chance that a meteor could land on you or a loved one, have a heart, be concerned, be overly concerned! Our specialists understand you're freaking out right now because of all these hard times we've imposed on you, and just think: meteor! Dead puppy dogs!

Dial 1-800-666-FEAR to book your appointment today.

A close friend discovered time :tctl: control last night in her dream. It is true that Slack radiates out from the Yeti in orders of magnitude. It's all true! All of it! The sales are real! :verified:

All this and more could be yours for only $35 @

send this subgenius LSD or mushron in the mail and you will get better posts and probably a really cool clench

why did everyone think like this 20-30 years ago? do people still think like this?

Doktor K'Taden Legume (5/18/64 - 8/26/95, 8/26/95 - 7/5/2018, 7/5/2018 - 11/27/2018)

mad science 

rocks: thank you monkeys for mining me out of the ground and organizing my physical structure so I can watch you all the time

humans: no problem, in fact, I don't even realize you're sentient and manipulating my actions, your vibrations are very slow, i classify sentient things as things that vibrate as fast as my nervous system

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Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.