Dusted elephant.
I don't know why this shit comes up in the algorithm, but here I am watching it.

youtu.be/bi-q8L5HoP4

Y'know, I'm not all that smart, but every day I look around me and say to myself. "how the fuck did we let thus happen?' And then I remember we are homo sapiens, split brained monkeys with over sized frontal lobes, a lizard hind brain, and opposed thumbs. Well what could possibly go wrong with that?
I rest my fucking case yer honor!

Reverend Oryctolagus Cuniculus of the Church of the SubGenius demonstrates the proper way to participate in the race of life we all must run until the end.

:jrbd: 🐇 subgenius.com

Viola wants a staring contest. Kinda mood I'm in tonight, I may win this MF.

If it's not dingbat, it's meathead. Fuckin' A. I'm ready to give up. Today's most important question is-how stupid are you? I'm reluctant to rant the particulars for fear of it biting my ass later, but if you work in a hospital, don't fucking stop by on your way home. Fuck.

The ideal home defense ammo would shotgun enough dust to bring down a Beastie Boy so nobody dies but the culprit is still there when the Con arrives.

I don't remember which Douglas Adams book it was where the secret to flying was forgetting to fall down, because I read it a hundred years ago, but I just successfully used that idea in conjunction with a couple bongloads to forget I had the hiccups.

I have a foggy faded memory of a Peanuts strip where Charlie Brown and Linus are on the beach. Charlie Brown throws a rock in the ocean, then Linus says something about the thousands of years it took for that rock to make it out of the ocean.
I recall it every time I kick a cat toy off the top step back down to the living room.

lewd, possibly gay 

Astolfo vs Bridget in the arena. (via Oglaf.com)

Some pink motherfucker stole my bike right out of the carport last night. The bike is a drop in the bucket of Slack the bike provided.
POS wyzecam didn't catch anything. Useless fucker.
We have a little wisp of a Persian that rides in my Yeti gf's bike basket. His helmet came yesterday, and today I don't have a bike to go out on. Pink motherfucker stole mine.

You could put on a dunce cap with a propeller and not look as stupid as you would protesting the quarantine with a fucking mask on.

If anybody could hook me up with a saucer off this fucked rock, there'd be $35.00 in it for you.

I heard the call tonight and took the projector mod up to the highway to broadcast propaganda. Before I went, I did an image search for Dobbsheads, looking for interesting specimens. This guy came up in the results.

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DOBBS.TOWN

Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.