You're a SubGenius. You have an excuse. Laugh it up.

The political spectrum might be the gauge, but stupid is stupid no matter how you measure it, and stupid in excess of your own level is always funny.

You can feel bad or angry about what happens, or about how painfully stupid some people are, but you can't take out the 'wtf did you think was gonna happen, dumbass?' part that makes it funny at the same time.

I wrote my Great Work on an outdated Mac II prior to The Incident that led to the first parting of $35.00 . The Power of the Incident required Implements of Destruction that reduced the contaminated drive to powdery chunks.

I'm better now.

@ReverendGuimo @Shitlord
Thank you for taking the test. For your results, send one dollar to
PO Box 807
Glen Rose Tx 76043

"...the very fact of your eyes moving across this page at this moment is inevitably and subatomically decreed"

That page had to be somewhere. Your book was the path of least resistance in the machinations of the universe.

The first bit is possible, but the second is a sure thing. We're born to be the center of the universe, and the Conspiracy steals it.

What's more selfish...

Denying the world slack because it didn't prove itself worthy...


Denying yourself slack because you don't feel you deserve it...


Not knowing the difference?

My first thought was that the Conspiracy could be defined by a precise combination of the first and last options.
The second option is a result of Conspiracy programming.

"It'd be like going to the show to see Jefferson Airplane and then leaving, only to look back and realize you could have seen the Grateful Dead in 1969."

Where were you when "Bob" got shot?


If I bail out of a video 3 minutes in, why would you have an algorithm that continues to suggest that video?

And if you have a fucktrillion videos to choose from, why show me the same videos in 14 different categories I've never searched?

I'm not even gonna tell you what we ended up watching. I don't know why I keep hitting my head against this pink wall. Probably time for another saucer ticket.

It's not so much that he's looking; it's the look on his face.

Mudhoney on top of the Space Needle. This might be where it maxes out. Any further northwest and you'd have polar bears digging around in your garbage can.


NCN is NOW on the AIR! our marathon about cops, riots, civil unrest culminating with the PREMIERE of the 5hr. FINAL CUT of our NEW program 'RIOT' starting at 7pm PACIFIC our End Times Programming at bit.ly/2RDKMkY Enjoy!

Monkey Slack is so pure it would make you throw up if you got his dose. That's what the conspiracy stole from you.
Get yours back. $35.00

Yes, indeed, my Slack involves making Swedish ragbrod from scratch and then eating smorgas and pounding home-infused akavit. If you had any idea how perfect everything now is, you'd be the same.

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