It's other people who force you to pretend. Force you to disassociate and disconnect from what you 'knew' to be true.
The journey ahead is twofold.
Find yourself, find what you threw away before your realized it was all you needed...
Then you need to find out what is important again, for the first time with new eyes and not someone else's sad lies.
All along the path are fractal branches of what if's and what could of been's, but anything other than straight ahead is just the easy way out.
You can't be held responsible for anything you do. How could you? You aren't in control.
It might be difficult for you without any concept of relating to ideas you haven't made up, but that's because it's in our DNA. That's right, our own blood betrays us and forces us to see the world vicariously through the eyes of the made up gods and voices we created to explain the mysteries of the world to ourselves.
And that's just the beginning...
I wonder sometimes if anything we think matters at all. We come to understandings so easily we believe are right when we know nothing, but worse, we don't know we know nothing. The worst thing to waste in the world is a naive sense of child like ignorance that accepts, more than just understands that we don't know anything. I think too many people are trapped in a world of absolutes and held captive by their own opinions which become the foundations for all they hold dear. How can they deny it?
Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Yeats, “The Second Coming”
I see myself in everyone.
So I tell everyone they see themselves in everyone.
I embrace the visceral undertaking of attempting to meta-interpret my own internal dialogue in order to expose the flaw in my own code that even still won't allow me to see what is really going on.
Still, I find it useful all the same to embrace what I cannot throw away. Those are my gifts, they become my strengths through Slack.
The Not Significantly Sane
Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.