The root of the problem (well, the root of ONE of them...).

“There are men in all ages who mean to govern well, but they mean to govern. They promise to be good masters, but they mean to be masters” -- Daniel Webster

A SubGenius Aphorism

I will not be “Normal”.
“Normal” is the mind-killer.
“Normal” is the little-death that bring total obliteration.
I will face this “Normal”.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn my third nostril to whiffread its path.
Where “Normal” has gone there will be nothing.
Only I, and “Bob”, will remain.

Happy Friday.

“Always tell the truth. You will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.” — Mark Twain

The truth is; if you have not yet joined the Church of the SubGenius, far more than just your soul is at stake.


being dumb enough to believe that tosh isn't good. being dumb enough to spend that much money on a scam isn't good if you're poor and you could have used that money on food.

i'd like to hope the only dickheads who bought it were rich dickheads who could afford to drop that much on a 128MB thumbdrive with a pdf containing one file of badly written SF.

attn @onan

"Eyelash" proof has arrived! reading now. classy Latinate introduction by Rev. Stang...

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet..."

wait a minute

Since nothing else has worked, I just bought the Covid virus a membership in the Church of the Subgenius. I've noticed that once someone (or thing) becomes a card-carrying member, they tend to start slacking off ... futzing around with Dobbsheads and debating minute details of church philosophy... and then to lose focus on day-to-day things like infecting people. But it may take more than one membership to subdue it, so we're gonna need some of you others to step up.

"BOB" IS ANOTHER UNIVERSE, his own self-contained universe with its own internal laws and space-time. The interface between his and ours may one minute be chaotic and terrifying one, then suddenly become an orgiastic celebration of life and awareness; it may even lapse into complete noncausality, a state in which nothing occurs around "Bob" at all... a total and utter stasis, such as when he is blind drunk and passed out, and the only indication of time passing in all the cosmos is his snoring."

It's pretty intense. Thank goodness that me and my cats wont be here to deal with the Stark Fist of Removal and the problems that will follow. If anyone reading wants to avoid this doomsday, the only thing that will help you is the Church of the SubGenius. Visit today. You'll thank me on X-Day!

I decided that I am going to randomly start addressing people as human, but only once in a while, then pretend it was a mistake if anyone says anything.

"How are you doing today human?"
"I asked how you are doing?"
"Did you call me human?"
"Did I? That's weird!"

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Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.