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Commercial for - the Mastodobbs of the Church of the SubGenius. The first video for any specific instance of Mastodon? Definitely the best!

JOIN... the Church of the SubGenius!


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"I am a Jesus Man and I am going to death you with my religion gun"

And perhaps we love our futures because when you get down to it, we have none. A singular world where emperors and spiders all bite the dust. Nothing is trues, everything is permitted.

Ate the age of 80, (who would have imagined that?) I have come to the conclusion, that little by little people are behaving better but their corporations seem to have an evil life of their own. Is the LLC mankind's greatest sin?

Ernest Borgnine's 105th birthday was two days ago. I demand music!

Once I read a corollary of the idea "follow the money." You can tell a city is going bad when the wealthy people leave. If a bunch of them do it, what remains is on the way down. A little bit because rich people fund a city, but mostly because many people want to leave but only rich people can leave quickly. Again: not because rich people are smarter or better, but because many really smart and really great people would like to leave but can't afford it.

Watch for when the rich people leave.

"Yes, but what about this exception in which your ethics are incorrect or incomplete, EH?"

... is what an angry child trying to sound smart would say.

Yes, you're right: mortal experience is seldom if ever reducible to formulas that have no exceptions. I will not distort my entire world view for the least, or the greatest, or the worst, or the best. I will note they exist, be compassionate, and not fall for this argument by extremes.

EXCEPT The Church of the SubGenius

@SpencerSpencer @RevXenoFact @senator @onan

If a devival pops up anywhere near you, go! If not, as the Senator said, start one! Either is well worth the effort merely in the Slack you will both generate, and collect.
In the meantime, ask Mayor Onan about putting an ad in the Dobbstown Mirror to find like-minded mutants in your area.
And when all else fails, do what I do; leave Sub-G propaganda cards and leaflets around town; on car windshields, in magazine racks in waiting rooms, etc.

Capitalist Doom & Gloom boys got you in a Spin? Now you no longer need fear the End of the World! Learn how at

The SubGenius Foundation heals ruined members of a crumbling society. It's true. Look at me: I'm living proof how Radical Insanity can take you FROM ruined TO not-ruined! Send $2 today for a radically life-changing book:


The great thing about the Sacred Doctrine of Erasability. We can look back on our past stupidities and ignore them.
I guess that she’s a special ShorDurPerSav, not for being emotionally significant to my heart, but she sort of grew on me at giving me a new pre-breakfast ritual when she uploads a new video.

“This will bring slack to millions!” Well, maybe.

“This will bring slack to some people!” That might be the case.

“This will bring slack to me!” Go for it!

If you want something to happen, that is sufficient reason to get started and be lucky.

Lucky IS something you - yes YOU - can be. It is a skill you can increase in yourself. It is related to your slack.

No, YOU tell ME how. You know. And you can pretend to know. That works too.


@senator @SpencerSpencer @onan my serious take?

The Church is more relevant now than ever. We need to empower others, the young, and get them into the next hell-bent iteration of the Church.

The Church is a safety valve that let's you go wild while never forgetting how dumb you are.

Happiness is soon as good, even if break the battle. #proverbs

@SpencerSpencer @RevXenoFact @onan Good attitude! Make a lot of noise now, because when you die you shut up like Hell.

I hate my brain.

Lost most of Fri night and Sat to not feeling well in general, but also some pretty heavy depression.

So I slept. A LOT. Anything to just 'not exist'. Temporarily.

Today, I'm sore, but I feel good. Energized. I want to tackle a dozen projects.

Our brain meats really, really suck. If left unaddressed, it can push us in dangerous directions that aren't necessarily what we want.

For me, sleeping is the best path. Let it work itself out.

So smack those brain folds around.

You do what you do because you want to.
I do what I do because "Bob" told me to!

To learn more, send $5 and SASE to:
P.O. Box 807
Glen Rose, TX 76043

if you can't buy your own happiness, homemade happiness is fine.

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