Pinned toot

Commercial for - the Mastodobbs of the Church of the SubGenius. The first video for any instance of Mastodon? Definitely the best! JOIN... the Church of the SubGenius ( and find out more! :jrbd:

Pinned toot

Do you know who Goblox is?! I will tell you who Goblox is. In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets from a monkey. The French craved it, and, as a result, turkey became the only food source for France, which is now called RoboFrance29. I was later killed by the chickens! So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens.

broke: having the cilantro tastes like soap gene

woke: not having the cilantro tastes like soap gene

bespoke: having the cilantro tastes like soap gene and liking cilantro anyway

When some day you've got 7K+ subscribers and 1K+ videos, you'll be close to where the Lightworkers Healing Method™ Angelic Initiative is now.

"The Angelic Initiative is an all-volunteer organization on a mission to trigger the Awakening NOW. [...] We conduct daily, Angelically-Guided, Multi-Dimensional Energy Healing sessions in Washington D.C. to heal the root causes of warfare and trigger the Awakening whose time has surely come."

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claws, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed.

I stand here with a Skizm:

Mothman is just a superior Yeti with wings.

If you ask a coworker “How are you?" and they say “Well, im here”, that loosely translates to: “I need you to push me off the roof. We can make it look like an accident. if i die, im finally free. If i live, we'll sue this place and split the money. Please for the love of god help me."

Next time someone asks you what Mastodon is and what you do, just show them this.

so my migration worked on my followers but not the folks I was following

let me know if you were a mufo with me at so I can get you back!!

if you weren't but you wanna be then now's your chance to sneak in!!

It is times like these that I lean on my faith in Gorilla Grodd...

The thing I have always wondered about Christianity:

It says that its adherents are supposed to 'love their enemies'. Right??

And, since they believe that 'Satan' is 'the enemy'....

Wellll...? ;)

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Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.