Rev. Onan Canobite, SubGenius @onan@dobbs.town

Slack week day 3

NEW! Hour of Slack #1791 - Return of the Living Dave

Lonesome Cowboy Dave joined us for a whole hour -- from his hospital bed! And we thought he sounded more lively and snappy than before he got sick! LeMur did the titles but after that it's talk, talk, talk! Subject matters: The devil in your swimming pool.…

https://hourofslack.libsyn.com/hour-of-slack-1791-return-of-the-living-dave

Serfs of Applelachia have Siri, denizens of Amazonia have Alexa, but sales associates of Dobbstown Costa Rica have Stasy as their virtual assistant. Unlike the others, Stasy is not a lifeless algorithm, but a real person who listens to your every word, controls all home automation in Dobbstown and cares about you and your money as if there was a difference between the two. Sure Stasy can get a little erratic towards the end of a 96 hour shift, but we believe the personal touch is worth it.

"When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free."

Don't judge the by the hair, but by its shell. #proverbs

I made a game in HyperCard. It's called CHICKEN MASTER.

The Church of the Subgenius is the punchline for a society that doesn't get the joke. subgenius.com

Put your faith in a joke religion in era without a punch line.

We guarantee we can't do worse than the religions that actually take themselves seriously.

How to Conduct a Prayer Meeting

yes of course I believe in god, would you like me to introduce you?

You can feed a wolf a dried kelp block. It’s fine.

Dobbstown Costa Rica is not just carbon-neutral, we're uranium-positive! Rather than pollute the environment with the waste from our fast-breeder sodium reactor by burying it, we've replaced the magnetrons of our microwave ovens with spent fuel rods. When you image a microwave that runs for over 5000 years, uses no electricity and can cook a whole steer in an hour, you're imaging the future at Dobbstown Costa Rica!

@onan @kirjis These questions bob into our minds.

Definitely true

Praise "Bob", mailman just handed me a missive from Dobbs Town. I am all a- dither. Thanks Uncle Onan

please stop praying for my uncle!!!! u are making him too strong. He broke out of his shack and Umbrella can't get him. He's too powerful