Serfs of Applelachia have Siri, denizens of Amazonia have Alexa, but sales associates of Dobbstown Costa Rica have Stasy as their virtual assistant. Unlike the others, Stasy is not a lifeless algorithm, but a real person who listens to your every word, controls all home automation in Dobbstown and cares about you and your money as if there was a difference between the two. Sure Stasy can get a little erratic towards the end of a 96 hour shift, but we believe the personal touch is worth it.
Dobbstown Costa Rica is not just carbon-neutral, we're uranium-positive! Rather than pollute the environment with the waste from our fast-breeder sodium reactor by burying it, we've replaced the magnetrons of our microwave ovens with spent fuel rods. When you image a microwave that runs for over 5000 years, uses no electricity and can cook a whole steer in an hour, you're imaging the future at Dobbstown Costa Rica!
MACHINES OF LOVING GRACE - Perfect Tan (Bikini Atoll) [Official Videoclip]
Dobbstown CR Q&A labs have issued an advisory regarding counterfeit bufo guaro. Instead of using true cane sugar liquor and organic toad secretions, the counterfeits often rely on inferior ingredients such as poisonous tree frogs and recycled antifreeze. One counterfeit brand, Glenribbit, contains 1% 5-Me0-DMT which is less than 40% of the recommended daily adult dosage. Consumers are advised to stick recognized brands such as Old Sapo, McWarty's and Mr. Toad's Wild Ride until further notice.
Punch & Joad, Dobbstown CR's only cruelty-free avante-garde puppet theater is proud to announce a benefit performance of its critically acclaimed Esperanto language version of "Batboy: The Musical" at 7pm Aug. 23 at the Community Thunderdrome. All proceeds will go to those orphaned by last month's fundraiser.
Tickets are on sale now at all Devil Bunker, Junky Boot, and Blast Damage Fine Wines and Fissionables locations.
Profiles In Slack: Clem Slakhanov - Data Miner.
Slakhanov started in the Old Lotus 123 mine before moving to the Haunted Clippy Hole mine. There he was instrumental in discovering the rich vein of compromising celebrity photos that has provided the Church a lucrative income for decades.
Years later during a routine software upgrade, the column of a spreadsheet collapsed, trapping Clem and 3 other miners. Despite a valiant effort to flood the cell with Red Bull and nitrous oxide, none survived.
Dobbstown Costa Rica Health Services is proud to announce the Biannual Adrenochrome Harvest! We wish to remind you that all donations are completely voluntary, and volunteers when selected will be escorted to the collection area located between the Orgone booth and cigarette machine in the Employee lounge. As always please refrain from seafood and hallucinogens 24 hrs. before donation. Remember, when you give the gift of Adrenochrome, you give the gift of Eternal Life!
It has come to our attention that team members are worshiping the ceiling stain in the upper server room. Officials from Dobbstown, Malaysia have determined that it is routine leakage from the liquid cyanide cooling lines located under the breakroom and that no Blood Offering is necessary at this time... although several appear to have already been performed.
HR wishes to remind all personal of the horrific aftermath of the Luchables naked mole rat incident, and requests your compliance.
In this month's "Coding with Chode" workplace training seminar, Marcel Chode Dobbstown Lead Technical Mime, will present "Coding Invisible Glass Wall Data Structures in C++." The seminar will be held at noon, Tuesday Aug.11at the damaged fuel rod containment pond. Bring a friend and your lead-lined galoushes to what promises to be our most exciting training seminar yet!
Renegade librarian and old-school cyberpunk, currently in exile in Central America.
Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.