tired: pranking someone by signing them up for spam

wired: pranking someone by anonymously sending them money through paypal

Hell hath no 'nanas like a fruit section manager scorned

how do i block an entire instance? i've been blocking them one by one all day and, frankly, it's boring.


if i had an amazon wish-list it would just be "everyone will snap out of it in 3, 2, 1, GO"

look, i've been a subgenius for about twenty-five years, but i have to say i'm not down with these toots advertising it. they make it seem more like a flying saucer cult than it actually is.

most of the time we just slouch about talking about really bad horror and science fiction films.

and shooping "Bob"'s face into different art.

senile people are supposed to look untidy, right?

me: i should brush my hair
me: wait, i did this five minutes ago

corn chips
colby cheese
suddenly i smell like a mouse enclosure

> A tornado watch has been issued for parts of Arkansas and Oklahoma until 12 PM CDT

i keep reading this as "Tornado Witch"

sweet creeping jesus christ on a segway. my mum just bought a new tv. four times larger than the old one, and apparently eight times LOUUUUDDERRRRR

this morning at about 4:00 am, woken up by astoundingly loud tinnitus in my left ear, i discovered it's possible to mute the noise by holding my nose and trying to sniff.


Mad Max: Furry Road

oh come on, someone must have already made this joke

listening to Juno Reactor at 7:30 on a Sunday morning, trying to recapture the pleasantly worn out after nightclub feel even though you never danced to Juno Reactor


Placobdelloides jaegerskioeldi

is a leech that lives exclusively inside the rectums of hippopotami


russian literature is a game where you try to make the sentences as long as possible.


(excerpt proved to be too long to toot, obviously)

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Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.