i was the fat kid for the first two and a half decades of my life. i often wondered if it was "glandular", and everyone laughed when i raised the possibility, because it sounded like a feeble excuse.

- diagnosed with a thyroid deficiency later in life
- taking Eutroxsig supplements
- losing weight like crazy

UP YOURS, Mr Martin. up yours.

about fifty years ago a well-meaning teacher got me into an audition for the Australian Boy's Choir, with Vincent Kelly. he was an august, rather severe looking figure, and even my vague notions of history told me he'd fought in the Great War and was undoubtedly a bad-ass, albeit a genial one.

he asked me to sing something at the audition, and i won't embarrass everyone with the only song i could remember under such stressful conditions.

today i'd probably choose

youtube.com/watch?v=lDCS5pdIwz

coworker comes up to me and says apropos of nothing, "hey, you're looking good."

uh... thanks? OH GOD HOW DO I TAKE A COMPLIMENT, THIS IS ALIEN TO ME

did anyone else quit prozac as an adult after being on it for years and like now you're dealing with emotions

*cleans cat food bowls* moin moin, kadse!

Smowflake: das ist nicht deutsch, weißt du

Yeah, ya znayu

what the hell happened to Johnson and Johnson's iconic band-aids? they used to have a tiny length of red string that you could tear the packages open with. also, the adhesive leaves gummy stuff on everything and the material is thin and prone to tearing.

the Bananas in Pyjamas ones are much better.

wondering how hard it would be to start a Kosh bot.

"You do not understand

dumbass."

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