Which probably also explains why I always sing loud bombastic songs. You can't dwell on other things while yelling out "Bat out of hell" for eight minutes.

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For several years I did Friday night karaoke at a dumpy bar in Euless TX that has karaoke five nights a week. Sometimes I would just go there by myself and have a couple of beers and sing a couple of songs and then go home.

Once the KJ asked if I was getting what I wanted out of karaoke night. I replied "Oh yeah. It's like therapy, but cheaper and they have beer".

I guess that stuck with him, because I went back to the bar Friday, and Friday Night is now "karaoke therapy night".

Science fact : The spring and fall equinoxes were the only days that you could stand up Oliver Reed and he wouldn't fall back down.

Hopefully you were banned from ever coming there again

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During a stint co-coaching junior roller-derby, my derby name was "Neal B. Forezod".

The previous coach was an evangelical, and he complained to the board that I was an atheist and should not be allowed to use a name that makes fun of God.

And when EVERYONE pointed out that it was the villain's catchphrase in "Superman II", he doubled down, stating that if he could misinterpret the name so would others.

Nobody missed him when he quit.


So yesterday I deleted everything I ever did on Facebook. And now Facebook's ad algorithm has adjusted itself accordingly, serving me "default" ads that would appeal to a 50+ year old white male Texan.

But that's not a problem. I know what it takes to get thrown off those ad networks. . .

Today, I learned that I have the power to dismiss any infringement claims brought against a customer with a single, swift click of a button.

Today I cleared and purged the claims by and for over 100 customers. In all, I purged over 10,000 claims against these customers and directed these customers to find a VPN and to be careful about it.

Yes, the claims are gone. All record that Disney made the claims are gone.

Live Free my fellow Pirates.

Live Free.

Also I would totally want that "Wormsong" picture on a t-shirt except. . .umm. . .it looks like a giant guitar-playing wang.

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This is your official reminder that the person who wrote the song lyric. . .

"Abra Abra Cadabra.
I wanna reach out and grab ya."

. . .is in the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame. :jrbd:

Before the movie, the theater played this goofy documentary of Dune-inspired prog rock.

I think my kid likes exploring the dimensions of nerd-dom that her Marvel Extended Whatever friends don't grok, as she declared on the way out of the theater that she's gonna dive into the book immediately!

(hopefully while listening to "Close To The Edge" by Yes)


Stallone: "I’m making a movie about composers. I’m playing Vivaldi."

VanDamme: "I’ll be Mozart."

Schwarzenegger: "Stop it guys I’m not saying it."

My kid is a waiter at one of those hipster Alamo Drafthouse theaters. If she can get the time off, the plan is for the wife and I to watch Dune with her.

Mind you, my wife and I have read the Dune novels AND seen the 1984 movie AND the SyFy miniseries.

Oh we are SO gonna torture that kid this weekend!

Lemme practice. . .

"This movie sucks! When does Sting show up to fight one of them big floatin' nardsacks?"

Decided to give some bandwidth to one of them "your car's warranty is expired" people. . .

"Mr Hattan, we're from the extended warranty department. The warranty on your 2014 Nissan is expired."

"Of course it's expired. It expired five years ago."

"Sir, we offer extended warranties for low-mileage cars."

"It's got 110,000 miles on it. What kind of warranty can I get?"

"You have a nice day, sir."

"No, really. Tell me what kind of warranty you can sell me."


Anyone else read this? I read it in high school. About all I remember is that it had giant SandPretzels, and Pall had to solve a Rubik's Cube to prove his worth to the Revved-Up Mother.


In the "stealing things that nobody wants" category, I'm amused seeing the number of "Your Facebook account has been STOLEN" emails in my spam-box.

I'm reminded of George Carlin's quote. . .

"Somebody STOLE my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!"


I made seasoned fries covered in Gorgonzola sauce for lunch today. The sauce was a first for me. I would switch up the cheese / cream ratio and add more garlic.

Awreet. Getting ready for that filthy hippie fropfest that's happening nearby this weekend.

Thankfully, the omniscient @onan sent me extra copies of The World's Only Remaining Newspaper so's I can spread the good news.

Hey, if there's one thing I know, it's that getting a bunch of redneck hippies to join an apocalyptic cult ALWAYS yields good results! :abmb:

I once wrote a letter to my kid's school when she didn't wanna do the Pledge. It was literally a sticky-note with

"My kid is allowed to opt out of loyalty oaths to countries, kings, or gods as she chooses.
John Hattan."

Maggie came back saying that the principal did not accept my note. So I put the same words in a printed letter.

The principal then demanded a meeting with me to discuss the matter.

It was a short meeting.

The letter was accepted.


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