I'm wary of girls who say they are vegan. Either they are just fronting or they are serious, and at my age I don't think I can date yet another girl who won't drink cum.

So my son applied so much primer to his Pinewood Derby car, the stuff was in 3-D. We're moving on to paint. Well, moving on to paint if that much primer ever dries.

Look, I'm going to say this once so listen up. It's 2021.

So when a girl advertises she doesn't smoke cigarettes, doesn’t drink, never smokes marijuana, and is a vegetarian, should I also wonder if she's the tooth fairy or Easter Bunny?

<Churchmarm> Alcohol shall never pass these lips.
<Me> I never let alcohol get past me either.

@onan Half a bee, philosophically, must, ipso facto, half not be.

Attention slackers! Be the indifference you want to see in the world. Or maybe not. Whatever. I guess it doesn't really matter.

My son just announced that 98% of what he learns is a waste, and yet he doesn't even know who The Fonz is.
Do they even teach anything in school anymore?

Here's another word a lot of people just dislike:
Nipple.

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