PART 1 of 2
Perhaps I useta know & forgot, but I may have just learned from NPR Radiolab about Elizabeth Kubler Ross late in life letting some promoter turn her into a sorta Eckankar-like / Goom-Rodgie-like arena-filler whose shows featured magical Presences obviously played by costumed actors...

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Wow. I'm so sad she never found the subGenius church-- "Bob" woulda endowed her with the cutting-edge psar-chasm (freshly coined term) to have fun with alla that feces. And then she might not have spent so many of her last days in the bitter chain-smoking funk, kinda stuck in the Anger stage, as reported by Radiolab. (But celebrity reporting too often lacks nuance.)

Dobbstown's among the folks I wanna share this well-written horror story.
I'm hard to be pleased by this genre, but this one strikes a terrific balance between the stated and the implied-- just enough info and no more for maximum spine-tingle. (The alligators are an especially tasty ingredient, I think.)

I get knocked down
And with relief I sigh
'n' say Thank you for the chance to nap

Some of you here may have heard "out of it," the electronic piece by my colleague Hair LudwigSears. I've finally remembered to post the artist whose work inspired me to create that... ok, whose style I ripped off... Scott Johnson. If yer not familiar... Wonders await you.

BAD CHURCH NEWS! Send $$ to prevent more!
I have PROOF the Xist salvation-vessel finally came this year, but met a tragic end due to woeful underfunding from us true believers. The Xists gave it their best heroic effort despite their inability to afford the best research in trans-dimensional scale & to determine Florida's precise coordinates. Brace yourselves for this video showing the wreckage with no evidence of survivors, which I discovered on the shoulder of NV Hwy 29 just west of Blanding.

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Obviously, for any hope of rescue now, we must MASSIVELY increase Church funding and recruitment so "Bob" can let them know how much bigger our planet is than they thought, and can make sure they build another vessel to correct scale. Now you know you must send ALL the money you can to allow your BARE MINIMUM SURVIVAL, then go out and grab EVERY Normal you see, not letting them go until they're convinced they NEED to join & fund our church!

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As discoverer & messenger of this sad news, I'll need a 20% finder's fee, & I'll forward the rest to Rev. Stang. Promise.
Head RIGHT NOW to Rev. Wattdefalk's Go Fund Me page. STAT!

X-Day Missive Part 1.At the moment, having awakened at the abnormal hour of 3AM, I'm parked near the mountain forests of southern Utah with the generally too-forgotten presence of the Galaxy much more than usually visible in the direction the sane call "above" us, while I'm so crazy I find that word meaningless, imagining that "out" is the only existing direction; and even worse, that its opposite "in" is a direction I believe to exist only in a dimension entirely unrelated.

Part 2. Meanwhile, the vehicle in which I lie runs on stuff coming from a direction proving me a liar. Hundreds of miles in the direction of a non-existent sunrise, fellow subGenii are preparing to board the Escape Vessels due to arrive at any moment, or none, as if the distinction really mattered, as we true believers find solace in remembering loved ones who have already boarded those vessels in another unrelated dimension.

Part 3. While we all rely for our sanity in a predictable future and a remembered past, memory is an illusion and no one knows what will happen; dimensions abound.
Just after I finished writing all the above, I glanced up to discover all the tiny lights above me have vanished underwater.

Sorta. But FOR REAL!
Mere hrs after rcvng DobbstownMirror, I paused for refreshment at Portland's Hawthorne Asylum FoodCourt. Ordered a fresh coconut to drink from, and LOOK! the BEADY LI'L EYES, the GRIN, the...
Watt's that you say--Where's the bleeding head? Five minutes after taking that picture, I tried cutting into the soft oozing BOTTOM, and...
So clearly the lesson is to take warning: DON'T attempt unauthorized entry to the "Dobbshead's" BACKdoor!

I posted this link to my nearly new hymn on goddamn Google drive, but goddamn Google says it's unplayable because goddamn Google keeps giving me random shit prolly cuz they see me calling it goddamn Google and don't like it.

New Hymn, impr?ved from what I posted on scrubG last weak... still mentions (mental) mens. My theoBoblical reasoning, or lame excuse for going nasty, take yer pick: Women ooze the life-centered physical stuff while men can only ooze the mental pseudo-blood of competition and warring. Or kill me. Or buy me lunch.
Tried & failed to upload 1MB mp3 here. Too big?

with the latest dobbstown email confirming my password change, the number of accumulated emails in my inbox is... drumroll, please..
("WOOOO!" quoth all here assembled)

Toot the Second. From 1996 and broadcast on HoS: The Bhagwan Rag

From 2008: Prayer, Hymn, and Coronation March for Sarah Palin, composed using Cycling 74 MAX and large Fibonacci numbers...


Church of the SubGenius Members-Only MastoDobbs.